MAGZ EDITION 07

OFFER-02: STATE SECRETS

Hello reader! Good morning. Guten morgen! Do you know why I write this (terrible) offer? Of course you have know because I have written the tittle. Before I tell you about it, I will tell you first about the discovery.

At the time, Mr President invited me to stay in the his house. His house was called the (half) white houze. It was very very big. I accepted his invitation and stayed in a room. It was very big too. There were a football yard, a golf yard, and a simming pool in the room.

At night, Mr President invited me to have dinner. After that, wanted to sleep. I walked alone. Then I saw a strange room. I entered the room because I wanted to know about something. Then, I found some letters on the table. Finally, I knew that the letters were very.. very.. very.. secret. In the letters, I could know which country would be destroyed by Mr Presidento.

I also knew what was Mr Presidento’s plan. I coud not tell you in this (public) magz because it is very very very dangerous. I have an offer for anybody who want to buy the state secrets. I am sure you will be rich. You can destroy this country if you have this secrets.

I hope you want to call me if you want o buy the secrets. I don’t have any phone but you can call me used our dream. I will come to your dream and we will make an agreement about the secrets.

Do you know why I sell my state secrets? Because I don’t have any money. I don’t eat for two weeks because Mr presidento’s men always chase me every where. I can not buy food, drink, I also can not by my safety. (Wednesday, 20-03-2002, 11.10am-11.30am)

BETRAYER

OFFER-03: A TAKARA MAP

HI, Reader!! I come from a village. I have an offer for you but before I tell you about it, I want to tell you about my experiences before I found the map of treasure. At the day, my father commanded (the right choice has to be “ordered”) me to search the wood (I mean firewood). We used the wood for cooking. At the day, I went to the South Area. Finally I got to a mountain. It was very very big mountain. Then I continued my travelling. Finally I saw a cave. The cave was very very strange. I wanted to know about that weird cave so I entered to the cave. I surprised when I saw a big dragon was sleeping in there but I wasn’t afraid because I brought a big sword. I used the sword to search the firewood. Suddenly I saw a weird stone. The stone was not like another stones. I went to the stone. But oh no! the sleeping dragon woke up. I thought that the dragon was very very angry because I had disturbed his long dream. Finally, there was a big war between us. The wild dragon was very strong. (As expected from a legendary dragon). A big fire could go out from his nose or maybe his mouth. I used my sword. I called it wood-cutter but my sword could cut anything until the hardest stone. Finally I could defeat the wild dragon. Then I return to the strange stone. I opened the stone. I surprised when I saw a map. Finally I understood that the map was about a precious treasure. Unfortunately, I could not search it because the spot was in another continent. So I want to sell it. If you want to buy the map, you can call me. I am sure you will not (won’t) regret it after you buy the takara map. I can not search the treasure because it need much money. OK, Reader!! Thanks for your special attention for this offer. (Friday, 22-03-2002, 03.10pm--03.29pm)

CHURL

OFFER-04: THE DIAMONDS

Hay, Reader!! I am AlienZ from Alienation. I come from another planet. My planet is called Upzilon. Maybe you never (ever) hear about my lovely planet. My planet is very far from your solar system. My planet is not in the Milky Way formation but my planet is in the Andromeda Galaxy. I come from my planet to the Earth because I have an important purpose. I want to spend my precious holiday (maybe in a country called Indonesia because there was a revolution). But I have trouble now. I went to the Earth used a spaceshuttle but I have spent all of my money for it. That is my big problem now but I have something. Maybe you want to have it because I know human like that thing. Do you know the thing? Yes, you are right, the diamonds. You have known because I have written it as the title. I know that the diamonds is very expensive in this planet. So I want to offer it to you. In my planet, the diamonds are very cheap (just like sand in the beach). I bring a lot of diamonds from my planet. I hope you want to buy it because I don’t have any money now. Do you know where I get money for writing this offer? Of course you don’t know. I borrow some cash money from a friend of mine but I can not borrow money from him everytime because I know that he also need money for himself, for his family, for his village and for his country. So I need your help, Reader. Maybe one of you want to buy some of my diamonds. If you want it, you can call me but you can not call my handphone because it has out of time. You can come to a high place (building). In that place, you have to shout loudly. That is the way to call me. I will come to your place soon because I can fly. Actually, I can not fly in my planet, Upzilon. I don’t understand it. (Friday, 22-03-2002, 09.05pm--09.22pm) Special Offer By ALIENZ.

REQUEST-06: A HOUSE 4 Me

Bad… bad…bad…I bring a lot of bad news. The bas news are about me. Do you know me? Of course you don’t know me because I don’t tell you who I am. I am TrampZ. That is my name but it is not the true (real) name. I write this request because I need your help. I need a house. I hope one of you, can give me a big house. If noone give me a house, I could not sleep soundly at night because a group of mosquitos always attack me when I want to try to sleep. And now I want to tell you the reason why I lost my sweet home.

One day, I go to the market to buy something. I am sorry because I use the wrong tense. I went to the market to buy food for my tiger. I have a tiger but he is very very small so people called him catty.

I don’t remember what is happening when I come back from the market. I saw my house was burned but I didn’t understand why only my house. The fire didn’t move to my neighbour’s houses. The fire only burned my house. I think I know te reason.

I knew who had burnt my house. He is Burner. He always burn his enemy’s houses but I didn’t have trouble/problemo with him. I think someone had asked him to burn my sweet house. I can not help all of my property… except my cat. I can help him. Actually, he helped himself from the burning fire.

OK, reader!! I hope one of you can give me a house, especially MillionaireZ. I think a house is a light problem from him because he has a lot of money. He has a lot of banks but I have bad thinking about his banks. I am sorry because I can not tell you about it here. Thanks for your attention. (Saturday, 25-05-2002, 09.45am--10.05am)

TRAMPZ

ADDITIONAL OFFER: An ADVeRTISeMENT

Ohayou, reader. Minna san, I have an offer for you but I can not write it on normal offer because my offer only needs a lttle blank page. Ok. Now I will write, I mean, tell you about my offer. I have a lot of ex-things such as, car (ex-batuman), a motor (ex-robin), a crypton stone (ex-zuperman), a mask (ex-demask), a pair of claws (ex-wolverhine), a plane (ex-pilot), a ship (ex-captain), a white houze (ex-prezidento), a train (ex-engineer), an izland (ex-native) and a world (ex-people around the world). (Wednesday, 29-05-2002, 07.50pm--07.58pm) RAGMAN.

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